Sea Monkey Tragedy  
by Hambone

As I was nearing completion of my semester long sea monkey project tragedy struck. I had adopted a healthy batch of sea monkey eggs from a local underground adoption agency here in Auburn, we'll just call them the "toy store" for now. I had planned on waiting until graduation for parenthood, but the sale price and low amount of responsibility made me change my mind. Two days later my sea monkey's hatched. To my extreme disappointment the were severely mutated. They lacked all fur, and lived solely underwater.

Fearing high medical bills I tried to give them to a zoo. They informed me that sea monkey's were actually shrimp and not monkeys at all. I couldn't believe that they accused me of not even knowing what my own children were. However, they kept trying to convince me that monkeys aren't even hatched from eggs. That's when I knew they were lying. From that day on my monkeys and i were inseparable. They even went to class with me.

On the first warm day of spring I took them to play ball. What happened next i will never forget until next week. The ball knocked over their small tank, and i kneeled next them in anguish as they wiggled to death. I thought the pain inside of me would never go away, but it did the next time i used the bathroom it wasn't love at all, just an extreme case of constipation. The memory of my mutated hairless monkeys lives on. And in their memory i have dedicated my life to changing the plural form of monkeys to monki.

back to stories