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Who are we... well who the hell are you?
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Steve Dave Co-owner / photographer
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Famous for his abilities to find small objects in large garbage
dumpster's. Steve Dave is slightly less intelligent than your
average ballerina, and enjoys walks in the park after eating
an entire jar of pickle relish.
Steve contributes to the site by telling us why everything
we do is wrong, and is our head photographer, smile! He
also works at Hot Stuff pizza part time and steals money to
help pay for this web site.
If you see Steve Dave please contact animal control immediately.
stevedave@auburnafterdark.com
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Hambone Co-owner / director of marketing
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Born in the slums of puerto rico, Hambone continually complains
of having a headache in his stomache. He continually buys
clothes in larger sizes and claims to be shrinking.
For entertianment in the office we place bets on how long
Hambone will spin around, after we tell him there is a stain
on the back of his white tuxedo.
He suffers from a rare phobia that his right hand could team
up with his left foot and attack his ears. He believes to
be Neil Diamond in a past life, even though Neil Diamond is
still alive.
hambone@auburnafterdark.com
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Moose Content manager
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Unwilling to give permission to put his picture on the web
site, Moose has been represented by a pop sickle. Unlike Moose
the pop sickle is cold and rather bland.
Lost in the streets of Brazil as a child Moose was adopted
by a sandpaper manufacturer at age 13. After a nervous breakdown
at 17 he came to the US and worked as a toilet cake tester.
He knows more than 50 recipes using Nesquick powder and likes
driving his Saturn and hitting deer for sport.
moose@auburnafterdark.com
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Crazy "T" Quality control
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An expert in the field of font size and George Michael songs. Crazy "T" is a retired athlete, formerly a professional lawn dart player. He was banned from the sport after a near fatal accident involving one of the officials at the Suehawk county semi-finals.
Prior to 6 years ago no one knows anything about Crazy "T".
He keeps a picture of a water slide on his desk and stares
at it for hours at a time.
Often brings stray cats to work, then acts like he doesn't know where they came from.
crazyt@auburnafterdark.com
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Monkey Webmaster
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Known as Monkey due to his exaggerated body hair and unwillingness
to wear a shirt. Monkey likes to stack chairs in provocative
positions and photograph them. Because of his hypersensitivity
to deodorant he is not allowed to physically interact with
clients.
Often caught overusing words like zucchini and sike, he has
been restricted to doing his job in a private closet.
He is given regular bathroom breaks and must be hosed down in the yard a minimum of twice a day.
monkey@auburnafterdark.com
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Tante and Buka The 24 hour customer support team
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Imported from some other country, we found these two wiz-kids
listed in Cheap Labor Magazine. They're small enough to sleep
underneath a desk, so they can stay at the office 24/7.
Lucky for us they work for Snickers bars and Tang, which keeps them pretty active on the job!
Tante makes a mean pot of coffee in the morning.
tante@auburnafterdark.com
buka@auburnafterdark.com
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Want to know who we really are?
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